A Christian Leader's Life in Censorship and Porn-Hacking

Part Two

I had a positive reception for Part One of "A Christian Leader's Life." Though I lack an IP address, I raised many questions that point to my hacker.

For instance, who placed my hacker's picture on my blog for two weeks, a threatening gesture, after my post went live? Only my hacker would place his own image on my blog.

Who removed the many followers of this blog before I posted "A Christian Leader's Life"? 

Who took the post offline, so that it didn't interact with the internet and rise on Google? Some other nemesis?

Who deleted the emails from my hacker to me and then restored some of them but not all? Who else had a motive?

Who deleted my email containing the porn descriptions that my hacker used to cover my Google pages, the email I had sent to the scholars? Who else would have the motive?

Who edited "A Christian Leader's Life" a few times after it went live, to convey a frivolous and unedited and sometimes confusing vibe so that I had to keeping rewriting it?

Who replaced the screenshot of the fake email that contained the iPhone memory?

Who deleted the photo I took of my son sitting in front of his computer? It was wallpapered with my book cover art that my hacker had helped create. My hacker had the motive.

Who is so focused on my son that he has to keep sending me his pictures to convey a threat? Some other random hacker?

Who demeaned, repeatedly, working class people in fake blogs and on my blog, just as he demeaned the working class background of one of the women who fired him?

Who placed Springfield police reports and a “we found Ryan” notice on Google the same day I visited the police about my hacker?

Who else would spoof my police report about my hacker, placing my landlord’s name and email and phone on the report?

What else would be interested in my communication about my hacker to the police?

If it was a different hacker, he must have been very sympathetic to my hacker. He must have taken great pains and care to cover for him.

March 17, 2024. All of my 290 followers of this blog were scooped out before my post went live. Only one follower remains. But 500-plus people viewed the post regardless.

Part One

March 30, 2024: This document appears to be online, but it's a trick. The document isn't rising elsewhere on Google. 

March 28, 2024: My hacker placed his own picture on my blog where it stayed for two weeks. This action was a gift as it shined a light on the very face of tyranny. 

My hacker might be the one American literary publisher who is devoted to censorship above all else, despite the quotes about freedom of expression and the life of the mind that he places on his site now and then.

Background: Judge Charles Carlson

In February 2022 I sought a restraining order against my hacker, my first publisher, after he'd been hacking me and sending me porn for eight years. The third judge I saw at Eugene Civil Court, Charles Carlson, was the one who believed the evidence I provided and didn’t simply throw it out because it lacked an IP address. High-level hackers don’t leave IPs. He said a restraining order was only granted for direct threat of violence. "But I wouldn't put up with this either," he said. "You need to sue this person." I chose to write a novel, "God's Hacker," instead. 

I spent fourteen months working on this book, day and night. He hacked me especially hard while I was writing this book. He hacks editors who contact me about my novels and stories, to turn them away from me. He's a malignant narcissist, and is very charming and likeable, even convincing.

I resist the idea that I wrecked his reputation. The one-hundred scholars I updated regularly about him were open to my emails only after he was fired by his all-women staff at the literary journal he founded. He had tried to entice a young woman on his staff to his hotel room and blamed it on her when she said no. This was no sad dalliance or sympathetic mistake, but an abuse of power, especially since he gaslighted her after the event. 

The greatest advertisement regarding my hacker's reputation is his own behavior. 

In addition, these scholars are serious people, not frivolous souls amenable to baseless rumors. They are professors at Loyola, Purdue, Hillsdale, and elsewhere, and they listened to me because their vague suspicions about him had gathered into tangible facts at Image Journal. 

Writing to them over nine years was a rare gift of justice. All exceptions granted, our legal system tends to throw out hacking cases as a matter of course, and victims usually have no voice. 

Highlights

My hacker used spoofing tricks to send porn to my Latina date. He also used a spoofing technique to sour my relationship to my landlord and to try to get me kicked out of my house. He hacked the literary journal Hobart after the editor invited my submission. And he hacked a colleague of mine after he wrote about my fist book, in Poets & Writers. And his hacking sent me to the hospital for a week in October, 2023.

 

He also intercepted a police report I filed on his spoofing messages to my landlord, and changed my name on the form to her name, and this created confusion and discord. 

In addition, he refuses to relinquish control of my Google and Amazon accounts though I'm no longer part of his publishing house. I asked to leave in 2001 and he let me go in 2002, telling my current publisher that it was his idea. He controls my Google and Amazon accounts with my second book, at a different publisher. Several attempts over years to "Claim this author panel" on my Google page hit a brick wall.

He has deleted or tampered with evidence in my ongoing communication with law enforcement. I describe these and other hacking incidents below. He has also revised earlier drafts of this document to convey a haphazard and frivolous intention.

Enemy Email

Everything started with the following email exchange, when my hacker was my publisher, in 2014.  

"You decide if you want to make an enemy of me or not," he said, all because I didn't want to write articles for Christian blogs. Some of his audience disliked my book, and he said he wanted to try to make me more "human" to his Christian audience.

The first email is mine, and the second is my hacker's, both from 2013. He had rejected my first two attempts to write blog posts, saying they should be lighter for his audience, and I was starting to feel "snotty"--his number one complaint about me.

It is telling that my hacker, a Christian leader, threatened to make me an enemy, simply because I disagreed with him. I figured he must really go through the roof if a person actually disrespected him.

He asked me to apologize--he emailed that he wanted to talk to me by phone and see if I was truly sorry. When he didn't follow through with the phone call but began dropping my Google content, I emailed him he wasn't any kind of Christian and told him to F-off.

The email in which he told me he wanted to talk on the phone to see if I was truly sorry was deleted. He has restored some of the emails he deleted, as if fearing getting caught, but has neglected to restore others.

Illegal Porn

In 2015, during the first year of hacking, I believe he sent me illegal porn. He was hacking my and my then-wife's phone and making our computers hiss. I had contacted the FBI and state police. I believe he wanted to get me in trouble. He is the master of the spoof, presenting digital items that seem one way on the surface, but are something else underneath. Russian-style hackers use porn and illegal porn often, to terrify and silence. 

In 2015 I called the Idaho State Police Computer Crimes Division. The officer wasn't surprised to hear my story and said hacking is very common. 

When I gathered a list of 100 Christian scholars and told them what my hacker was up to, a friend of  his said I was crazy and needed professional help. My hacker was considered an angel at this time. I laid off that email excursion until he got fired for sexual harassment two years later. 

His friend's email was deleted. I assumed my hacker was looking out for his friend.

My Hacker Fired for Sexual Harassment

In 2017, he was fired by his all female staff at his literary journal (before he started running a publishing house) for challenging workplace and sexual harassment. One of his staff said he'd invited her to his hotel room when they were at a conference. When she said no, he blamed her and tried to convince her it had been her idea all along. He frequently made light of her working-class background and suggested she needed him to advance her career (his views about working-class people are similarly revealed in later interactions with me). 

In 2013 he had made a video of his staff at his literary journal, all of the young women either showing their cleavage or revealing a flash of panties or placing their pencils between their teeth etc. He had put it on Facebook but it vanished in a week. A few thousand people must have seen the post, though perhaps it seemed pretty vanilla at the time--until the women came forward later.

Everyone Knows Someone Who was Hacked

My friend Michelle who works at Smith Family Bookstore was hacked for months in 2020. She's a pro-choice activist who had apparently angered some Christian right-wingers online. A drone followed her car at night. One night, when she dropped me off in Springfield, I saw the drone hovering high above a house across the street, its light blinking. Few believed her story. "You get an IP?" people asked like a mantra.

My friend Lisa in Denmark had two hackers ruin her business. They had shut down her Facebook by posting ISIS flags on it and pro-death remarks and more, until she fled to Italy. The police threw out her two-hundred pages of evidence because they were trained to require an IP address and ignored her personal testimony regarding these hackers that she knew. 

This IP-only philosophy gives a nod to all advanced hackers, aiding and abetting their crimes, for they always hide their IP addresses. The only hackers who get caught are beginners. It seems necessary to probe a document for other persuasive evidence that might be missed when an IP is unavailable. Further, an IP only shows a very loose location, usually only a city. An IP can be useful, but this singular evidence standard is overblown.

My Hacker is Known for his Dick Pics

In 2017, when he was down after his firing, I found a Facebook page in his name that someone had made. There was a row of dick pics in the banner. I supposed this person who created the page had been the recipient of such pics, and I discovered later that my hacker uses them as a weapon. Though I don't take screen shots of anything that has pornographic images, I wish I had made an exception for that Facebook page.

Ashley Madison and "The Evil Dead"

Also in 2017, my hacker learned that my second wife (in 2005) had cheated on me with our landlord, and that I cheated back. He placed an Ashley Madison ad on my site for two months, even though my AdSense wasn't turned on. 

In September 2017 he posted this image of me online. In an email I had sent to the Christian scholars, who tend to believe my accounting of events, I had said he was evil. My hacker generally says that what I say about him is true about me.

Wallpapered My Google Page with Porn Descriptions

In July 2019, my hacker wallpapered about twenty pages of my Google pages with porn descriptions. When anyone Googled my name, these porn descriptions came up, including some English words like cock and cunt. My name was in each description. I had asked my friends to Google my name, and these pages appeared for them to see too.

These screen shots were deleted from my phone. It's lucky that I had posted them in a private Facebook post.

Manipulates Dating Site

In May 2019 I dated a black woman through a website in Cincinnati when I was divorced. She was a Christian and wanted me to be one, and it didn't work out. In a few weeks, I looked at the dating site again and saw it was all very large black women who were looking only for sex, at least that was all I could see on the site now. He seemed to say, Oh you want a black girl? Try one of these.

Sends Spam to My Student

My hacker's central strategy is to turn people away from me. In 2021, a private student named Arlene told me on the phone that she had received a handful of “spammy messages” that appeared to be from me, but they were slightly different than my gmail name. There was an added middle initial. "It looks like he's trying to turn me away from you."  

Places Alarming Books on my Amazon Page

On my Amazon page, my hacker has posted several books that sound like I am about to get hurt--one of his many subtle threats. He posted this one in August 2022. Notice the spelling doesn't justify its place on my Amazon page.

Suspicious Rejections

In February 2020, an Ooligan Press editor invited me to submit an unpublished manuscript, and returned a standard form letter after a few days. Since she had invited me to submit, it would be standard politeness to say "It's not good a fit, thank you for submitting"--something like that. Her silence reveals a pattern of editors going quiet even after they invited my work. I believe she was hacked and understood not to contact me.

Uses False Avatars

My hacker has used a hundred avatars to harass me. The following blog entry was posted in September 2021 and shot up to number one on my Google page overnight (That doesn't happen with a brand-new student blog with one post). Here "she" lists "a mild case of bipolar disorder" as my major literary accomplishment, no mention of my graduation at the Iowa Writers' Workshop, only negative or questionable achievements. This post was the first and only offering on the blog. (I have a manageable case of bipolar disorder, and have had two manic periods in my life. I haven't had a manic period since I began taking medication in 2010.)

This disparaging list reveals a bias against working class people and those who have struggled with mental health.

Replaced links on My Website

At this time I discovered that the links on my blogs leading to my interviews and book reviews now led to professional janitorial services and "bathroom wizard" etc. when I clicked on them. I had started a maintenance job at the university. An Oxford graduate, my hacker wants to remind everyone that he's in one class and the rest of us are in another, just as one of the woman at Image Journal conveyed in her own experience of him. 

Hacks Colleagues and Editors

In May 2021 J.T. Bushell published an article that mentions me in Poets & Writers, and was hacked as a warning to stay away from me. His many Poets & Writers articles were removed from his top Google page--all so that no one would see that he had written an article about me. JT, a friend, seemed spooked, and eventually stopped communicating with me. I believe he was hacked severely and understood he wasn't supposed to contact me. 

In July 2021 I referred J.T. to the editor at Largehearted Boy in NYC, when J.T. and I were still in occasional contact, and he said he'd be glad to run a "Narrated playlist" from J.T. But he wouldn't return J.T.'s emails after that, or mine. I figured the editor had been hacked, and I included him in an email I sent to the scholars about freedom of expression and the need to resist hackers, who want to control people for their own ends. Within a month, he ran J.T.'s playlist.

Phone Call from My Hacker

In March, 2022 I was in Dayton, Ohio where I was applying for a teaching job for one semester. The chair at a college there told me there were ten positions coming opening soon, and she said she liked my resume very much. The next day I called the chair and her secretary said there were no positions open. 

That night while I was at a motel, my hacker called in the middle of the night and said, "Wrong number, wrong number," and hung up. He has a distinctive voice, deep and pressurized. I would recognize it anywhere. I believe he wanted to communicate that I got the wrong number when I ever decided to send him my novel. I returned to Eugene.

 

First Threat Against My Son

In late March 2022 my hacker wallpapered the water-burial cover art of my book (a pic he helped to create) onto my son's computer. It was the day before I was scheduled to meet with the third judge, Charles Carlson. (In February, 2024, my hacker deleted this picture from this site, along with the brief narrative that accompanied it, and deleted the picture from my laptop. I found it elsewhere and put it back up on March 5th).

This is a picture of my son sitting in front of his computer.

Hacks My Publisher 

In May 2022 my Eugene publisher, the CEO of Wipf & Stock, called me and told me that my hacker had dropped my novel from his publishing house (I had requested to take back my book the year before). The CEO told me that Horses All Over Hell would remain at Wipf & Stock. He was friendly. I asked him if could get some "Horses"-themed bookmarks for my reading at Barnes and Noble.

When I went to the publisher to pick up the bookmarks a week later, I saw the CEO in the coffee shop on the floor below his offices, and he looked afraid when he saw me. He went out the door, and he never spoke to me again or returned any of my emails. He's one of the most gentle, good-natured people I've known, and I believe my hacker hacked him in retaliation for keeping "Horses" at Wipf & Stock. 

When I had dinner with the CEO in 2013, when my first book was scheduled to be published (at this time my hacker's publishing house was an imprint of Wipf & Stock), he said he didn't much like working with the man who later would become my hacker. "He wants everyone to kiss his ring," he said.

This pattern is unmistakable: first an editor is friendly, and then he never talks to me again, though our interactions had been absent any tension. I'll always be enormously grateful to the CEO for keeping my book despite what must've been a difficult period of hacking and harassment. 

In March 2023 I wrote an email to the scholars on my email shoutout page in which I update them about my hacker. I thanked someone in the group for helping me figure out if they were receiving my missives, but I didn't mention a name. 

The same day, Mark Osteen wrote me and asked to be removed from the email list (after eight years). I told him that the emails were grayed out and I couldn't remove him now, but I'd keep trying. The next day he wrote, in all caps, "Please remove me from this list. I do not want to receive any more emails from you. Comply at last!" 

It seemed an exaggerated response for someone who had been with me since the beginning of my email list. I believe my hacker had gone hunting and found that Mark was a fiction writer and a professor of "neurodiverse" literature, and figured that he was the one who had helped me, and that he was weak and old enough to hack without consequence. I was soon able to remove his name. Mark is an elderly man, and I believe his behavior was evidence that he was hacked abusively that day. 

Spoofs Dick Pics to my Date

In December 2022 I met a Latina, Martha, who manages a bowling alley at Valley River Center.

When she and I began texting, she said she received "strange" pics, and said she liked the internet at first but now she didn't trust anyone. I never heard from her again. 

Hacked Literary Editor Who Asked to See My Work

In September 2023, Elizabeth Ellen invited my submission of short stories to Hobart after we had emailed back and forth. Then she went quiet and has not contacted me since. Her enthusiasm was interrupted suddenly, and continues a pattern of sudden silence exhibited by editors I have contacted. I believe she was hacked and terrorized and knew not to have contact with me.

Uses Illegal Video as Terror Tool

In August 2023 my hacker sent me illegal content again, presenting it as adult material. 

Spoofs My Facebook Friend Request

In August 2023 I tried to friend ten people who had made comments on a literary site. The next day, I received five new friends. They all lived in Mexico and they liked big construction trucks. I wouldn't mind being friends with them at all, but this shows that my hacker is not only a very good hacker, but also that he doesn't think much of the working class. I believe he was saying, These are the only friends I will allow for you. 

Another Editor Hacked

In October 2023 I was going to submit a story to my friend who runs a literary journal in Serbia. She had asked me to send a story, and seemed disappointed when I had told her I couldn't separate a story from my published book. Then I found two stories for her. In the exchange below, she reveals that she was being hacked. 

My hacker wants to shut down any notice I might receive, even in Serbia.

Psyops Noises Issue from My Computer

In September 2023 I had been writing "God's Hacker" when he fixed my computer to make a strong rhythmic panting. I looked up the use of such noises and found it's a method of wearing a person down. This technique was used by American psyops teams in Viet Nam and is used by hackers. It sounds paranoid, but he has gone to extremes before. He uses the famous porn-bombing that hackers use, and other techniques to create anxiety, shock, and pain. On Facebook, in 2014, his wife had applauded his work ethic of never leaving his desk. He was indeed hacking at practically all hours, apparently while he administered his duties at his publishing house.

Hospital Stay

I had exhausted myself by writing "God's Hacker" day and night over fourteen months, and I was beat for a long while afterwards. This sound on my computer did wear me out. When a particularly brutal hacking came after I had finished my book, I entered the hospital. I was in the hospital for five days. When I got out, he played the panting sound on my computer and hacked me--the very day I got home!

Swaps Digital Info on Caller ID

In November 2023 my hacker switched the name of my doctor and my pest control in my phone's address book, to suggest that I needed to be treated like a pest. He often switches caller ID so I don't know who is calling. My digital world is so full of glitches, I don't believe in glitches anymore.

Friend Requests From Kids

In 2019, I received a friend request from a young woman, from the Philippines, who was in her twenties. She liked Dickens and Classical music. In a week her avatar changed to a twelve year old who "likes ice-cream cones." These friend requests usually have one mutual friend, but I believe he only makes it look that way. Below is a more recent request, from November 2023. It's possible to receive such things without my hacker's help, but I have received enough garbage like this to wallpaper a house.

Blocks My Phone Calls etc.

On January 8 2024, he prevented six calls to the employment department. On my phone appears a card with a green button that says "Call failed."  

Also on the 10th, I inquired about an accommodation in the disability office--I had called earlier that morning--and when I left, I found an empty digital phone card that read, "Disabled." This card began to appear every other time I opened my phone, for two weeks.

Any one of these could be a glitch, but my hacker sends communication like this constantly.
Sometimes I can call my doctor's office, but it rings and rings. Or a robot answers and puts me in a cue, but it's not the standard music that my doctor's office plays, and no one ever picks up.

Spoofs My Landlord and Tries to Get Me Kicked out of My House

On January17 2024 I received a spam letter that stated my Facebook account was going to close. I took a screenshot of it. The next day I saw that the letter had been texted to my landlord from my phone, known as spoofing. But I hadn't texted her this.

When I tried to explain spoofing to her, she didn't understand it. She said, "This was obviously sent by you. I can see your email in the screenshot." Of course my folders are in the picture. I was the one who took the screenshot.

I tried to explain that a hacker has total control of your phone. He controls all your photos and screenshots, and all the functions. If you take a nude selfie, for instance, your hacker can send it to your husband's best friend, from your phone, so that it appears that you sent the pic. One purpose of spoofing is for a hacker to send disturbing images etc. to your boss, your spouse, your kid--to cause rancor and distrust in relationships, because such texts appear to come from your phone, your name. But it's just a spoof, a trick. Your hacker is the one who sent it.

My hacker wanted my landlord to believe that I'm the type of person who sends spammy, creepy, and threatening letters of this kind.

Police Report Interference

On January 25, 2024 I filed a police report about the spoofing that upset my landlord, filling in my name and address. When I tried to submit it, there was an error message. I submitted it at my ex-wife's house where my hacker also shows his presence. The next day my landlord told me the police called. She said I had put in her address and email, and said, "Why did you do that! Why did you put in my name? I'm not the kind who makes police reports."

At the very least, my hacker is certainly not being careful right now. His brand has tanked, and he blames me instead of his behaviors. He's doing things, with greater repetition, that he wouldn't have done last year.

Digital Touch

That night I texted my son that I loved him and couldn't wait to see him again. Later I got a Digital Touch message from him, where he picks a color and touches that screen, and you touch it back. Only, he told me the next day that he didn't send anything like that, and had never downloaded that app.

It was my hacker, pretending to be my son! Yes, things are getting weird. No surprise, he deleted this digital touch exchange, and deleted the screenshot of it later. 

            Suicide Included in My “Friends”

February 12th Facebook shows friends who are recently active. Michael's profile appeared there today. He committed suicide many months ago. That is a pretty obvious message that my hacker is going to do his best to get me to follow suit, thus the psyops panting that he puts on my computer at all hours now.

Constant Social Media Censorship

In November 2023 I joined the Facebook page Beat Poems On the Road and was receiving 500 to 900 likes on my posts. The admin, Steff, got hacked and cut me off. In Facebook pages I frequent, my hacker often uses an avatar to bark at me and complain to the admin about me. If this doesn't work, he hacks them until they drop me. I have experienced this five or six times. In the case of Beat Poems, I believe he couldn't handle that I was getting so much exposure, and he had to put an end to it. 

In 2019 I had created a fake Facebook account when he was limiting reach and removing likes. In 2020 the password on that account was mysteriously changed. At this time he began to create many avatars that would bark at me on social media. They always had brand new accounts created that day. By 2023, his avatars had posts that went down and down their pages, and were generally posted in a single day, as if created with the help of AI. If this activity sounds bizarrely petty, tedious, and unworthy of an Oxford graduate, I would have to agree.

 

Threat Against My Son and Tampering with Evidence

On February19th 2024 I emailed the scholars that I had a friend request from a very young prostitute. Her comment that she could “go as long as you want” struck me as false, something an old man would say when trying to sound like a young prostitute. I didn’t take a screenshot because she might have been underage. 

Seconds after I sent that email I received this “New Photo Memory” with my son’s picture on it. The trouble is, iphone memories are an iphone-inclusive feature, and they don’t send out such notices via email. The purpose was to send fear and alarm about my son’s safety. My hacker reviews my emails and was probably angry that I laughed at him about the prostitute avatar.

Then I emailed the scholars again, about his fake email containing the iphone memories. 

The iphone memories email was deleted that day. Luckily I had taken a screenshot as soon as I received it--but screenshots aren't always secure.

It wasn't until March 11 that I saw he had replaced my screenshot with another one. This new screenshot shows iphone memories as generated by iphone instead of the original email he had sent. This new screenshot also shows a two-minute lapse between when I sent the email about the prostitute and when he sent the iphone memories email. But when I had taken the screenshot, it recorded that only seconds had passed. 

This is the screenshot that he replaced mine with. Instead of showing seconds on the bounce-back email, this one shows two minutes, enough time for him to swap the screenshot with a new one.

Since then, many other pictures of my son have popped up on my phone, seemingly generated by iphone, but the repetition is suspect. Iphone pictures appear once in a while, not all the time.

False Warning Banners

In 2022 I placed a blog post about my hacker on the Iowa Writers’ Workshop Facebook page. Under assault, I had the right to let people know what was going on. A fellow graduate told me there was a warning on my post saying that opening the post might infect her computer.

Winter Term 2024, Lane Community College: after my student loan forgiveness I enrolled at LCC to take a few business classes. And my hacker is so thorough and tedious in his harassment efforts that he was trying to influence my grades in my advanced MS Word class. When I emailed a data sheet to my ex-wife and asked her to download it so that I could work on it while taking care of our son over there, she said there was a warning banner on it.

He continued to harass me even in the SIMM system my MS Word class uses, altering my projects to influence my grades. On one assignment, he changed my current version of Word to an older version that was incompatible with my assignment. My instructor, LuAnne Johnson, and the dean of library technology, had never seen that happen. The grade analysis shows that the Word version had been switched--a simple assignment for which I received an F. Another time, while I was working on the first question of a quiz, he spun the quiz to number ten, and I could only go back to question five. My hacker crippled an entire MS Word chapter so that all videos were inaccessible. 

Here is a screenshot of the document that shows the changed Word version.

In this March 22, 2024 email, the dean of LCC library technology states that all computers in the library have been recently updated and that it wouldn't be possible to revert to an older version of Word, whether on accident or on purpose. 

Therefore the swap was administered by my hacker.

The Profile of My Lost Friend Appears Again

The day this post went live I found that my hacker once again included my friend who had committed suicide in my "friends" photos. He had removed my friend's profile after I first mentioned it, and now he added it again, though this time it was on the left instead of on the right. He likes you to see it's him doing these things, even while he covers his tracks. 

It was important for him to sneak in yet another of his murky but alarming death threats--a pattern that grows more menacing with the numbers of them. 

Continues to Interfere with My Class

On March 12th, a day after this post went live, I completed a project for my class and received a 69 percent. I studied the chapter again, did the project again, and received a 34 percent.

I zoomed with my professor, LuAnne, during office hours, and she watched as I completed the project with almost all the right answers. When she told me to upload the file from downloads and to submit the project, we saw that the project had vanished. Word documents don't vanish. I've been using Word for twenty-five years.

March 19, 2024. The week before my MS Word final, my instructor LuAnne lost her persona of intense niceness. She's nice toward everyone, but she seemed especially distrustful toward me all of a sudden. I had told her about my hacker--she'd seen his hacking firsthand--and she created a special anonymous link I could use to access my final at the college, since my hacker can see my logins. She might have thought that sounded paranoid. He follows me everywhere. It would to most people, who don't know what a petty, top-level hacker with a taste for blood can do, and why. But she was helpful anyway.

It's possible that a hacked person carries the odor of his hacker, especially when he talks about it, and comes to embody that dangerous world to others.

When she set up my final in the computer lab, she was alternately happy and wary. I told her about my book "God's Hacker" to show her I was serious about documenting this story. She said, "You're gonna make a millions dollars one day!" Then she looked fearful, and she cleared out of the computer lab. 

LuAnne is the model of clean, office appropriateness, near sixty, intelligent, a bit innocent about the world, always looking on the "bright side," a touch country conservative, with a feminine niceness circa1962, but genuinely kind and a fine teacher. 

 

She had resisted my accommodation at the start of term, explaining that it wasn't going to give me anything extra, as if I was trying to scam something. Halfway through the term she told me the class was for high school graduates who had some math, suggesting that it wasn't for me. I had two masters degrees but had missed high school. The week before finals, she told me I wasn't a good fit for her in-class leadership course next term. She said I should switch to her online class. 

There seemed a chance that he had spoofed her something. She didn't like me before, but she seemed to have jumped to a new level of distaste. 

On March 20, 2024 I emailed her and asked if she'd received anything weird. I wrote that if she did, it didn't come from me. She wrote, "I have not received anything via email that would lead me to believe it was not from you."

I instantly wrote back for clarification and received a bounce-back "I'm on spring break" email.

I filed an incident report at the college and asked to find out whether she'd received anything gross. It could be that I got keyed up after making this evidence list, but if there was any new evidence, I wanted to know about it. 

Life with my hacker is an ongoing drama of dick pics and painful misunderstandings. But sometimes people come around. My landlord told me recently, "I believe you. Don't worry about it. I don't care what some hacker might send me."

Meaningful Repetitions

I believe my hacker could be further exposed with some investigation, such as interviewing the hacked people I mention, and examining police records, photos, phone calls, and texts that were hacked, spoofed, altered, or deleted. 

The enemy email shows a lot about his punitive nature, hair-trigger temper, and grandiose narcissism. The psychological trials that the Image women endured also point to a taste for rigorous hazing and harassment. The sudden silence of so many editors certainly tells a lot. My hacker's disdain for the working class is evident throughout. This latter theme knits a psychological point of view across many hacking episodes. And who else is going to delete my hacker's emails--and the photo of my son sitting before his water-burial cover art--other than my hacker? Who else would replace my screenshot of the iphone memories? 

The only other possible hacker would be one who has looked out for my hacker's interests for many years and tried to hide evidence that he was the hacker--a highly unlikely scenario. 

He has hacked J.T. Bushnell and stripped his Google pages of his Poets & Writers articles. He denied this author a great accomplishment, all to prevent the world from learning about my books. He is that narcissistic and self-serving. So far, J.T.'s four or five Poets & Writers articles--each rocket-fueled by an international readership--have been dispatched to the unlikely realm of unread online content. 

The Poets & Writers directory appears on his Google pages and one aggregated source (Muck Rack) that shows he wrote for the magazine, but the actual articles are missing, when they should be crowding his first Google page. I checked on March 25, 2024 and took screenshots.

The Poets & Writers article about me, my reviews and interviews in Kirkus Review, Paste Magazine, and Rain Taxi, should be at the top of my page. Instead, my one bad review in an unknown magazine, "Drowning in Confusion," has stood on page one like a sturdy tree over years. I don't care so much about prestige--unless someone is actively dropping content to serve his own interest.

This article, "A Christian Leader's Life in Censorship and Porn-Hacking," doesn't seem to exist on the internet, despite several hundred visits during the first and second week after it went live. After this post was live for a week, I Googled a handful of sections and saw that it seemed online, but it wasn't rising elsewhere on Google. 

My hacker frightens and manipulates people for sport and lords over the internet like it's his own property. His religious books remain cynical fronts to confuse the powerful and dupe the innocent.

March 25, 2024. I went to the courthouse today to consider applying for an anti-stalking order and to the Springfield Police afterwards. I found these adds on my Google feed when I got home. They weren't there this morning.

On March 26, 2024 I was denied a restraining order, but the judge offered interesting words. She agreed that anyone sending me death images and porn and then multiple pictures of my son may indeed be psychotic and dangerous, but the Supreme Court's ruling in 2021 allows for much deviant behavior online.

One judge, in 2021, told me, when I mentioned my hacker's porn harassment online, "That's his free speech!"

There is something wrong with our laws on cyber harassment right now. We can't seem to locate a sensible position on the issue. When we police speech online, we tend to target political speech, so we correct that overreach by backing off and allowing ghastly crimes to go unchecked.

If someone sends you death images and porn and then twenty pictures of your son or daughter from your iphone memories, in meaningful and threatening repetition, not even the fiercest Libertarian would say, "Free speech! I love this!"

But I was pleased to hear this judge agreed that his behavior may well be psychotic and dangerous and that the internet is a running ground for criminals. At least she didn't pretend that all is well and that it's free speech. The legal world hasn't learned how to deal with hacking yet. On the local level, tech lags way behind the front line FBI fighters who are battling Chinese-government hackers. When the only advice law enforcement can give is "Change your passwords"--I've heard this advice a thousand times--you know you're on your own. 

Hackers don't need passwords. They use techniques like "forced entry" to break into any site or app. It's easy for them. They don't break into Facebook at1 Hacker Way, for instance. They break into your Facebook app through your computer--piece of cake.

In a 2014 video, my hacker spoke at a prestigious college--then an admired public figure, the founder of a popular literary journal. He talked about misguided souls who had left the church. "Someone in the church may have hurt them," he said in a silly and belittling manner, as if the vast underworld of abuse in the Catholic church amounted to mere cuffs on the arm on the school yard. His insensitivity to millions of victims, living and dead, must have made it easier to begin his own regimen of abuse.

There were many other incidents where he hacked publishers and employers, etc., but I wanted to keep a manageable list.